2009 Movie Benefit Coming Soon!

One of the highlights of my work at DeLaSalle is meeting many of our friends and supporters at our Annual Movie Benefit. This year's Benefit will be November 12 at AMC Town Center 20, with food and drinks beginning at 6:00 pm.
This is the nineteenth annual Movie Benefit! Isn't that amazing? The event is very successful. We typically raise over $200,000 and draw 600 people!
Last year's event was special for me because it was the first time my wife, Karol, joined me. She did not want to attend prior year events because she knew that I worked the crowd and was usually involved in helping with the details of the event. I'd often leave her at a table by herself and rejoin her twenty minutes later. That's no fun for anybody!
But now that Vanessa Van Goethem-Piela and her wonderful development staff do such a fantastic job of making this such an incredible evening, I'm more free to simply meet and greet people. So Karol joined me last year, and maybe will join me again on November 12, 2009.
In the picture above you will see Karol and me in the center, with our great friends and supporters, John and Patricia Kurtz to the left, and Carol and Al Brooks to the right. John Kurtz is a selfless attorney who works on behalf of the poor and marginalized; Patricia Kurtz is an Oxford graduate, English teacher and former KCSD Board member; Carol Brooks is the matriarch of a large and talented family; and Al Brooks is former City Councilman, Mayor-pro tem, and founder of the Ad Hoc Group Against Crime.
Hope to see you this year at this amazing event!

Surrounded by Angels - Part II

I would be remiss if I did not mention another of my angels, my lovely daughter, Liz.

When Karol and I visited Liz this summer in her island home, I talked with her a lot about my desire to write more and to eventually publish my book.

"You should start a blog, Dad", she told me.

I replied that this was something that I had been thinking about, but I kept putting it off.

Liz said it was easy to get started but that it required frequent updating.

She encouraged me all through our vacation this summer, so when we returned to Kansas City, I started this blog.

I love writing this blog and acknowledging the many positive people like Liz and other angels who enrich my life.

Surrounded by Angels

I am surrounded by angels.
No kidding. I have a support team that would knock off your socks!
Today, I attended a meeting officiated by the new educational team in the Kansas City School District. They asked question after question about our program. I was worried and nervous, and showed it during the meeting. Afterwards, I received the best advice anyone could receive under the circumstances. I was told to hang in there and just do my best. We have a great program, this person said; we just need to be responsive to the District's concerns.
Then, this afternoon, our Board President listened to me as I described my worries and fears. He urged me to listen to the message we received from these officials, and said that I shouldn't try to read too much more into the way it was delivered or to try to interpret the personal dynamics in the meeting. "Do your best", he repeated to me.
I was motivated to immediately begin drafting procedures to address the concerns expressed at this meeting. I had to look deeply at some of the ways we operate, and realize we needed to change. At first, I didn't think these procedures would help kids. I was being a bureaucrat, I thought.
But as I wrote the procedure, I realized I was doing something very positive. Rather than feeling sorry for us or for myself, I was trying to meet these officials halfway, or better. Writing policies and procedures is not the most exciting thing in the world when you are working with kids who often need your immediate attention, but it will make us a better agency, and help to focus us and to standardize how we help kids. And that's the whole point of our work at DeLaSalle.
I'll tell you about my other angels some other time. They are all around me!

Candy Wedlow (center) stopped by today to visit with Vanessa Van Goethem-Piela (left) and me.

Candy is a 2001 graduate of DeLaSalle. She entered DeLaSalle in 1999 with a small child and a desire to finish her education and find a career to use her talents and to support her son.

As a result of our Pathways Program with Penn Valley Community College, Candy earned over a semester's worth of college credit before she even graduated from DeLaSalle! Within two years, she graduated from Penn Valley with an associates degree in business. She did all of this while working full-time as a business manager for the Kansas City CALL newspaper, where she continues to work to this day.

It's worth noting that Candy is the third DeLaSalle graduate to be employed at the CALL, the Midwest's leading newspaper for the African-American community. Candy's eight years of steady emplyment with the CALL in a highly responsible position demonstrates the caliber of student served at DeLaSalle.

I've known the Wedlow family since Candy's older sister, Raneissa Wedlow, went to school here in 1994. Raneissa participated in a student exchange program with Arusha, Tanzania in 1995, climbing Mount Kilimanjoro, and learning about the African culture. Raneissa graduated in 1996, and has been also working steadily ever since in the child development field.

Raneissa and Candy have had their share of difficulties in life, but they share a resiliency and a hopefulness that are inspiring!

Another successful graduate came by DeLaSalle today.

Robert Daniels was having some printing done for his work. He is a car salesman at Lee's Summit Nissan. The brochure he had printed at DeLaSalle's Student Press shows him sitting at his desk ready to make a deal. It proclaims that he is ready to "meet your automotive needs".

I believe him. He was a good student and he seems to be a good salesman. I wanted to buy a car from him, but I'm trying to reach 250,000 miles on the school's 1993 Jeep Cherokee first. I'm at 224,084 miles. The Jeep was donated to DeLaSalle many years ago by Brian Sanders, the son of our late Founding Board Co-Chairman, Norman Sanders. The Jeep is a gem, and I think it could run forever.

Robert and his wife have a brand new baby. He is a proud father, and proud of his education at DeLaSalle. If you want to buy a car, call him at (816) 251-2000. He's offering $100 for every new referral. Tell Robert you read about him on my blog, and to send the $100 to DeLaSalle. Now that's a DEAL!

The big happening this week at DeLaSalle was our first-ever Activity Fair that was held on Wednesday, October 7. Staff and students worked hard over the past month to prepare for this "showcase" event to highlight the twenty extra- and intra- curricular activities we have for students.

While we do not have a football or baseball team, we do have an after school arts club that does drama, murals and car design. This year, students will also build an electric car and put together bamboo bikes, a first in the metropolitan area and maybe even in the country.

Other activities include our environmental science class that will be building a "green tower", student council and student ambassadors and the prom committee.

As I walked around the school on Tuesday to check on the plans for this event, I went into a counselor's room where she was with two students. She told me the students had been talking to her about the pressure that many young people experience to engage in sexual relationships.

I told her that I had recently written a blog entry about a similar concern expressed to me by a student. She said she was interested in this article, so I gave it to her to read. ("Why don't people read my blog online?", I thought to myself. "All of the staff have computers, don't they?") She immediately suggested that I come to her life skills class on Thursday for a Socratic Seminar about this article.

[For those of you who do not know, a Socratic Seminar is obviously named for the ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates, whose method of teaching was to ask questions of his students to make them think more deeply about the subject under study. At DeLaSalle, we try to do Socratic Seminars weekly, usually with a newspaper or magazine article that is topical and that has several levels of meaning.]

I eagerly looked forward to Thursday, even rescheduling a meeting I was to have so that I could attend this counselor's entire life skills' class.

Meanwhile, the Activity Fair on Wednesday was a resounding success. Students were engaged and visited each of the twenty tables that provided information and materials regarding the many services at DeLaSalle. Aim-For-Peace was represented, as well as a KU program promoting healthy lifestyles, which assists our students with learning about exercise and good eating habits.

There were also several individuals attending who help us with a program called All Stars, informing students about the health-risks involved in problematic behaviors such as drug use, gang involvement and early sexual behavior.

After the Activity Fair was over, I mentioned to these individuals how important it was for our students to know more about love and loving relationships. I said I had taken a course in college called "The Philosophy of Love", explaining the levels of love as delineated by Plato, Aristotle and other philosophers. I mentioned eros and agape, and one of our guests remembered that Aristotle had also discussed philia, which is dispassionate, virtuous love that friends usually have for one another. We had a fascinating discussion, and I offered the services of the Men's Group should they need a speaker in the future to address with the students how to be responsible fathers and good husbands.

The next day, I was delighted to see in the lifeskills class the young man who had earlier raised the question to me about love, and about whom I had written in my blog. He seemed surprised to see me, however, particularly when I gave him my blog to read before it was distributed to the rest of the class.

The counselor began the class by having two of the students read the blog out loud. A heated discussion ensued, with some students claiming that the incident had to have been made up, as the girls she knew did not behave that way. One of the boys said he observed similar behavior in girls that he knew. Several students remained silent during the discussion, including the young man who was the subject of the blog.

Before the discussion ended, I asked to address the class, talking about love and commitment. I said that there were many types of love, even celibate love, where individuals decide to not express their love in a sexually intimate fashion. I said that love was a gift of ourselves to another, and that some people feel called to express their exclusive love to God in a celibate fashion. No one should feel pressured to express themselves sexually until they were ready and until they knew the importance of the gift they gave through their exclusive love for another.

All in all, I learned a lot about our students and their diverse views on love. And as always, these exchanges help me ti understand myself better and to learn how to more deeply love our students, who need to be given the big picture in their education and development.

Several years ago when I was (still) in the middle of writing a book, my father asked me if there was any sex in it.
"Sex sells", he advised. I cringed.
As my adult children say to me when I think I am being helpful by bringing up sensitive issues, "Dad, please don't talk about THAT."
So in the spirit of somone who can't help but repeat certain mistakes, let me tell you about my recent encounter with SEX.
We have a Men's Group at DeLaSalle, and after a small group discussion last Wednesday, a young man came up to several of us adults. He asked us how to deal with aggressive females who invite him to have sex with them.
I won't tell you my first thought, but I quickly realized he was serious and that this would be an experience I would never share. Then, I became VERY worried. How could I answer such a question???
Thankfully, the other two men began to explain the consequences of such behavior.
I watched the young man as he listened to them. He did not seem concerned and appeared to be basking in the uniqueness of this new world he had discovered.
Then, in response to one of the men bringing the topic of love into the conversation, he inquired, perhaps with some irony: "What's love?"
I finally saw my opening.
Love, I told him, was when you share yourself with someone whose sharing in return draws you more deeply to that person, and a dynamic begins to open up within you. I told him about my marriage, and how I am still discovering love after thirty-five years.
One of the men added that sex was just one expression of such a drawing together, and that there were many other expressions of union, almost as unique and wonderful as sex. He mentioned his own marriage and noted the deep attraction he has for his wife.
I wanted to say more, but the young man looked puzzled. He quickly said he needed to go to his next activity.
I thought about holding him back. After all, I am the executive director, and the facilitator for his next activity was there with us.
But I said nothing more.
Instead, I hoped and wanted to believe that maybe he would ponder our words and reconsider his options in the future. He's only fifteen years old, and lives in a world that values convenience and gratification.
I'll be looking for him in the hallways next week to find a way to encourage him. I want to help him understand that being a real man requires facing tough situations and making the right choices. He will face many such situations in his life, and he needs to get his bearings straight now, or he will be lost in life.
It was good to talk about sex in this context, even though it was not an easy "sell" for this young man. But I am glad that we took the opportunity to talk about love and marriage and to give this young man a few important goals to consider.
There are a lot of young men and women at DeLaSalle who need some good role models. Maybe you'd like to join us? We have over twenty activities that need adult sponsors. I'd love to talk with you about them.

I met with one of our long-time supporters last Saturday. He was on our Board of Directors twenty years ago and helped us to raise money to buy and modernize our school building on Forest Avenue. He is what many people consider to be "a mover and a shaker". He is also one of the nicest and kindest men I have ever met.
Twenty years later, Phil is retired and in almost constant pain from a serious medical condition. But he is still serving as an honorary co-chairman (along with Bill Dunn, Sr.) of our current capital campaign. With Phil's help, we have received, at hardly any cost to us, three tracts of land on Troost, and we are now in the final stages (we hope) of acquiring the last property before we begin building a new addition to our high school campus.
Whenever Phil can, he meets or talks with me to guide me and to help us once again raise considerable financial help from other "movers and shakers". He has not lost his fundraising touch, or the respect and admiration of many in the philanthropic community.
Last Saturday, Phil shared with me one of the (many) poems he has written. I have heard him refer to his poetry over the years, and thought at first he was joking. He does not fit my image of a poet. But I have since learned that poets come in all sorts of fits, and can be characterized as someone so in love with life that they must use condensed language to describe that love. And Phil definitely loves life.
In fact, he told me that his life has been transformed by his own suffering, as well as through a chance visit he made some years ago to the ruins of one of the German concentration camps. He found it deeply unsettling and almost unfathomable. It put into perspective his own suffering, and led him deeper into the mystery of life and love.
Here is an excerpt from one of his poems:

"For when you can feel and respond
To the joys and sorrows of others
As if they were your own destiny
Then, in that sense of compassion
You may find the highest spiritual reality...."

My friendship with Phil has graced me with a deeper love and compassion for those who suffer, especially those I encounter in my work at DeLaSalle. Phil is one of those men who are movers and shakers of love as well as of the material world. We are fortunate to have his help and, yes, his love. Phil Kirk is living and sharing a "spiritual reality" that is transforming lives, and I am so thankful for him.